Reviews
Reviews are in no particular order.
DICKS score out of ten:
1/10 - Why God, why?
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
6/10 - It was alright
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
The Boondock Saints
A couple of likely Boston boys decide killing bad people is ok.
If you haven't seen this movie, you suck! The Brothers are well cast and Willem Dafoe is magnificent as the quirky detective. The story is simple but perfectly executed, great composition and structure. At the end you will be cheering them on and shouting 'Rocco!' at the top of your voice. Oh, and its a comedy.
DICKS: 8.8/10
Standout moment: "There was a fire fight!"
If you haven't seen this movie, you suck! The Brothers are well cast and Willem Dafoe is magnificent as the quirky detective. The story is simple but perfectly executed, great composition and structure. At the end you will be cheering them on and shouting 'Rocco!' at the top of your voice. Oh, and its a comedy.
DICKS: 8.8/10
Standout moment: "There was a fire fight!"
White Lightnin'
Crazy drug/alcohol abusing Jesco steps into his fathers tap shoes and hits the road.
This psychedelic trip into madness has some very shocking moments. With an amazing performance from the English lead, Edward Hogg and surprising love interest in Carrie Fisher, this film will keep you on edge till the very end.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Barb wire, cesspool murder. Ouch!
This psychedelic trip into madness has some very shocking moments. With an amazing performance from the English lead, Edward Hogg and surprising love interest in Carrie Fisher, this film will keep you on edge till the very end.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Barb wire, cesspool murder. Ouch!
Machete
Danny Trejo killing punks with a Machete and lots of hot girls with guns. I really like this film. Its stupid, the dialogue is ridiculous, the action is over the top and the film never takes its self seriously, which is why its so great. Mindless fun at its best, check it out.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Robert De Niro dressed as a Mexican, dead on an electric fence, bloody classic!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Robert De Niro dressed as a Mexican, dead on an electric fence, bloody classic!
Amores Perros
Three equally intriguing stories connected by a car crash.
Dogfighting, supermodel mutilation and a tramp assassin, its got it all!
As crazy as that sounds, it really is a gritty, harsh film, about the complexities of love, you do not want to miss this.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Dead doggies (sad face)
Dogfighting, supermodel mutilation and a tramp assassin, its got it all!
As crazy as that sounds, it really is a gritty, harsh film, about the complexities of love, you do not want to miss this.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Dead doggies (sad face)
MacGruber
Bad guy hi-jacks a nuke and plans to blow up Washington, MacGruber must stop him.
Fucking funny. This film has some great lines and hilarious scenes. Lead, Will Forte is brilliant as lame MacGyver clone and Ryan Philippe and Val Kilmer play great supporting roles.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment:The old celery up the arse distraction technique!
Fucking funny. This film has some great lines and hilarious scenes. Lead, Will Forte is brilliant as lame MacGyver clone and Ryan Philippe and Val Kilmer play great supporting roles.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment:The old celery up the arse distraction technique!
Splice
Two scientists splice things together in a lab and make a funny looking baby.
Now I thought this film was gonna be rubbish, but I was pleasantly surprised. The story is passable, the effects are great and their are some surprising moments. As a Sci-Fi thriller it does a great job. Its kinda like a good episode of X-files.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Inter-Species Coitus
Now I thought this film was gonna be rubbish, but I was pleasantly surprised. The story is passable, the effects are great and their are some surprising moments. As a Sci-Fi thriller it does a great job. Its kinda like a good episode of X-files.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Inter-Species Coitus
Gentlemen Broncos
A teenage Sci-Fi writer get his story stolen by a superstar fantasy novelist.
Surreal comedy in the same vein as Napoleon Dynamite. loads of very funny moments, Jemaine Clement is excellent as the antagonist and the scenes with Sam Rockwell are Brilliant.
It oozes with 80's cheese, but in a good way
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: "You took my nads, Dennis!"
Surreal comedy in the same vein as Napoleon Dynamite. loads of very funny moments, Jemaine Clement is excellent as the antagonist and the scenes with Sam Rockwell are Brilliant.
It oozes with 80's cheese, but in a good way
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: "You took my nads, Dennis!"
Frozen
Three students stuck on a chair lift.
Yes that's really it!
The film starts like any teen flick but once it gets going it snowballs (yes I know, bad pun). It really makes you think "what would I do in that situation?" and that draws you in. Believable performances and nice gore.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment:
"I think I can make it" Crunch
Yes that's really it!
The film starts like any teen flick but once it gets going it snowballs (yes I know, bad pun). It really makes you think "what would I do in that situation?" and that draws you in. Believable performances and nice gore.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment:
"I think I can make it" Crunch
Transsiberian
An classic train journey thriller.
This defiantly has that Hitchcock feel to it. The story appears simple enough, but after a few stops you realise all is not well. The story has some great shocks and murder and mystery aplenty. A surprisingly good, unheard-of gem.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The Church clubbing
This defiantly has that Hitchcock feel to it. The story appears simple enough, but after a few stops you realise all is not well. The story has some great shocks and murder and mystery aplenty. A surprisingly good, unheard-of gem.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The Church clubbing
Irreversible
Man seeks revenge after his lover is raped and beaten.
This film belongs in its own category, away from every other film. When I first watched this I thought I had picked up the wrong movie, its very dark, contains one of the most horrific scenes ever put on film and will leave you reeling.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment:
I'd rather not say
This film belongs in its own category, away from every other film. When I first watched this I thought I had picked up the wrong movie, its very dark, contains one of the most horrific scenes ever put on film and will leave you reeling.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment:
I'd rather not say
Carriers
4 people in a car, attempting to avoid a deadly virus.
A kinda zombie Road trip movie. Not a lot of action in this film, but what's their is good. The film also does a great job of portraying the desperation of the situation.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Its guaranteed that the thing you need most, is next to a dead body
A kinda zombie Road trip movie. Not a lot of action in this film, but what's their is good. The film also does a great job of portraying the desperation of the situation.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Its guaranteed that the thing you need most, is next to a dead body
Dead Man's Shoes
Solider returns home to take revenge on some local bullies.
Good old British thriller, its grimy, every one looks miserable and some thugs get what's coming to them.
The main character, Richard, terrorises the offenders and finally has his revenge, in blood!
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment:
Gas masked assassin
Good old British thriller, its grimy, every one looks miserable and some thugs get what's coming to them.
The main character, Richard, terrorises the offenders and finally has his revenge, in blood!
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment:
Gas masked assassin
Mulholland Drive
Errrr.....Errrr...
Well, an aspiring actresses meets a car crash victim and then it gets weird.
You never fully understand what's going on in this film, and at the end it will be discussed at length. A dream of a move, and it all means something. Amazing.
If you want to see where Tarantino gets his style from, look no further.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The moment you realise you have no idea what's going on. Ha
Well, an aspiring actresses meets a car crash victim and then it gets weird.
You never fully understand what's going on in this film, and at the end it will be discussed at length. A dream of a move, and it all means something. Amazing.
If you want to see where Tarantino gets his style from, look no further.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The moment you realise you have no idea what's going on. Ha
City Island
Dysfunctional family movie.
This is generally the kind of movie I avoid, but City Island is great. I think this movie got overlooked because of the crap presentation, the trailer certainly didn't make me wanna watch it but its genuinely funny and is full of comedy gold.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: Chubby chaser
This is generally the kind of movie I avoid, but City Island is great. I think this movie got overlooked because of the crap presentation, the trailer certainly didn't make me wanna watch it but its genuinely funny and is full of comedy gold.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: Chubby chaser
Martyrs
Revenge and torture.
This film is not for the faint hearted and some will consider it all kinds of wrong. It had pissed off a lot of people. But, its cinema and its supposed to invoke a reaction. I loved this film, I was scared, shocked and stunned! Well done director Pascal Laugier, you sick puppy! Watch it, but not with any one you like. Brilliant!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment:The final operation is unbelievable. Fair warning!
This film is not for the faint hearted and some will consider it all kinds of wrong. It had pissed off a lot of people. But, its cinema and its supposed to invoke a reaction. I loved this film, I was scared, shocked and stunned! Well done director Pascal Laugier, you sick puppy! Watch it, but not with any one you like. Brilliant!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment:The final operation is unbelievable. Fair warning!
The Horde
Detectives and drug dealers have to work together to fend off the hordes of undead.
Set in a tower block, this is a very gory zombie movie. It has some surprisingly good action scenes and buckets of blood. Its low budget film fun at its best. Oh, its in French by the way.
DICKS 7/10
Standout moment: Crazy old man with an axe!
Set in a tower block, this is a very gory zombie movie. It has some surprisingly good action scenes and buckets of blood. Its low budget film fun at its best. Oh, its in French by the way.
DICKS 7/10
Standout moment: Crazy old man with an axe!
In Bruges
Two hit men on holiday in Bruges.
I'm not a big fan of Colin Farrell but with co-star Brendan Gleeson they make a great comedy duo. Its really funny. The dialogue is slick and the scenes are ridiculous. You just cant help but like this film.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Best swearing ever "Fucking Bruges!"
I'm not a big fan of Colin Farrell but with co-star Brendan Gleeson they make a great comedy duo. Its really funny. The dialogue is slick and the scenes are ridiculous. You just cant help but like this film.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Best swearing ever "Fucking Bruges!"
The Lookout
A bank janitor finds himself in the middle of a heist.
A fresh take on the classic bank robbery movie. Its well written, the characters are deep and the violence is short and sweet.
Its not what you expect, a great film.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Jeff Daniels as the blind house mate
A fresh take on the classic bank robbery movie. Its well written, the characters are deep and the violence is short and sweet.
Its not what you expect, a great film.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Jeff Daniels as the blind house mate
Valhalla Rising
One eyed slave warrior journeys to an unknown land.
This film perked my interest at the start. Some gritty fights and moody landscapes, but towards the end gets a little to psychedelic for its own good, with some really annoying sound effects. It does look good though. Not a bad effort.
DICKS: 6/10
Standout moment: One eye chained to a post kicking butt.
This film perked my interest at the start. Some gritty fights and moody landscapes, but towards the end gets a little to psychedelic for its own good, with some really annoying sound effects. It does look good though. Not a bad effort.
DICKS: 6/10
Standout moment: One eye chained to a post kicking butt.
The Game
Rich, ass-hole businessman's birthday surprise get out of control.
One of my favourite films. Michael Douglas is brilliant. The film twists and turns in so many ways, you will be second guessing every scene. The ending is mind blowing and the cinematography is amazing. Wow
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Waking in a tomb
One of my favourite films. Michael Douglas is brilliant. The film twists and turns in so many ways, you will be second guessing every scene. The ending is mind blowing and the cinematography is amazing. Wow
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Waking in a tomb
Rescue Dawn
Prisoner of war movie.
Christian Bale does his incredible shrinking man trick again (see 'The Machinist') as he looses a Ton of weight to appear in this gripping POW movie. It is defiantly up there with the best Vietnam movies. Thrilling and engrossing.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moments: The intense escape.
Christian Bale does his incredible shrinking man trick again (see 'The Machinist') as he looses a Ton of weight to appear in this gripping POW movie. It is defiantly up there with the best Vietnam movies. Thrilling and engrossing.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moments: The intense escape.
Seven Samurai
Poor farmers, terrorized by bandits, seek to hire samurai for protection.
This is the best action film ever made. Oh yes.
Since its release in 1954, action films have all taken something from this movie. All the characters are loveable, the story's classic and the action is real and pure.
DICKS: 10/10
Standout moment: Mifune rescuing the baby.
This is the best action film ever made. Oh yes.
Since its release in 1954, action films have all taken something from this movie. All the characters are loveable, the story's classic and the action is real and pure.
DICKS: 10/10
Standout moment: Mifune rescuing the baby.
The Fountain
3 story's, past, present and future. A man attempts to save his dying wife.
Visually this film is amazing, with possibly the best visual representation of enlightenment to date.
The story is intriguing and rewarding. Both Jackman and Weisz are excellent. This film deserves more credit!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The gold rush
Visually this film is amazing, with possibly the best visual representation of enlightenment to date.
The story is intriguing and rewarding. Both Jackman and Weisz are excellent. This film deserves more credit!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The gold rush
The Thing
Cut off in the Antarctic a science crew encounter an alien life form.
One of the Best horror films ever! The setting and build up are perfect, the effects are old school, no CGI bullshit, and the cast are superb. Everything in this move is spot on. John Carpenters masterpiece.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Spider head!
One of the Best horror films ever! The setting and build up are perfect, the effects are old school, no CGI bullshit, and the cast are superb. Everything in this move is spot on. John Carpenters masterpiece.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: Spider head!
The Triangle
Friends on a yacht, get caught in a storm and are forced to seek help on a ocean liner.
I thought this was just another run of the mill teen horror flick, but half way thought it gains momentum and gets weirder and weirder. You will find yourself asking question. Lives up to is name.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The deck of dead bodies
I thought this was just another run of the mill teen horror flick, but half way thought it gains momentum and gets weirder and weirder. You will find yourself asking question. Lives up to is name.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The deck of dead bodies
Monsters
Earth has been invaded by aliens and now we just try to avoid them.
This film started off with a bang and I thought I was in for a great monster movie, but its really just a road movie about a couple falling in love. Saying that I did enjoy it, and for a low budget film its looks beautiful.
DICKS: 6.5/10
Standout moment: What's that in the water.....
This film started off with a bang and I thought I was in for a great monster movie, but its really just a road movie about a couple falling in love. Saying that I did enjoy it, and for a low budget film its looks beautiful.
DICKS: 6.5/10
Standout moment: What's that in the water.....
Van Diemen's Land
Convicts escape, only to find themselves at the mercy of the Australian wilderness.
A great looking film, excellent cinematography, with some cannibalism thrown in. This film is based on a true story. Its dark and savage and shows you what people can be reduced to in desperate times.
DICKS: 6.8/10
Standout moment: Rock + Head = squelch
A great looking film, excellent cinematography, with some cannibalism thrown in. This film is based on a true story. Its dark and savage and shows you what people can be reduced to in desperate times.
DICKS: 6.8/10
Standout moment: Rock + Head = squelch