Reviews
Reviews are in no particular order.
DICKS score out of ten:
1/10 - Why God, why?
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
6/10 - It was alright
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
Kabluey
Salman moves in with his sister in law to help look after her naughty son.
A surprisingly funny, low budget film. Its awkward and some of the comedy will make you cringe, not because its crass, but because you feel bad for the main character Salman, who is very likeable. A very original entertaining and clever script. Funny with lots of heart.
DICKS: 7.4/10
Standout moment: Blue man suit
A surprisingly funny, low budget film. Its awkward and some of the comedy will make you cringe, not because its crass, but because you feel bad for the main character Salman, who is very likeable. A very original entertaining and clever script. Funny with lots of heart.
DICKS: 7.4/10
Standout moment: Blue man suit
Outlander
Man from space crashes on earth and joins the Vikings to fight a beast.
This film is really cheesy, its ozzes cheese, Vikings, space men, big alien monster, fuckin superb!
This film is really good fun, it has all the right ingredients and does exactly what you expect it to. No, this film wont be for everyone, its nonsense but in a really good way! The only negative about this film is the lead, he is a bit boring but ignore him and enjoy it. Get some popcorn, sit your ass down and cheer on the Vikings. KICK ASS
DICKS: 7.9/10 (9/10 my very bias opinion)
Standout moment: First time you see the beast.
This film is really cheesy, its ozzes cheese, Vikings, space men, big alien monster, fuckin superb!
This film is really good fun, it has all the right ingredients and does exactly what you expect it to. No, this film wont be for everyone, its nonsense but in a really good way! The only negative about this film is the lead, he is a bit boring but ignore him and enjoy it. Get some popcorn, sit your ass down and cheer on the Vikings. KICK ASS
DICKS: 7.9/10 (9/10 my very bias opinion)
Standout moment: First time you see the beast.
City of Ember
An underground city is falling apart and a puzzle must be solved to save the inhabitants.
The first thing you notice about this movie are the giant sets, they are fantastic. The characters in this underground world are a little flat but the visuals and bizarre story will keep you entertained. Any film with Bill Murry AND Tim Robbins is good in my book. A bit of fun but nothing memorable.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Tunnel monster
The first thing you notice about this movie are the giant sets, they are fantastic. The characters in this underground world are a little flat but the visuals and bizarre story will keep you entertained. Any film with Bill Murry AND Tim Robbins is good in my book. A bit of fun but nothing memorable.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Tunnel monster
I Love You Phillip Morris
Con man falls in love.
Based on a true story (see Wikipedia) this film is remarkable. One of the best films of 2009. Its funny, heart warming, absorbing, fascinating and true! Jim Carrey delivers a masterful performance helped by great on screen chemistry with Ewan McGregor. Watching this movie I found myself saying things like 'Oh my god!' and 'No way!' a lot, as some of the cons Steven Russell pulls off are unbelievable. The ending is outstanding. Watch this movie please!
DICKS: 8.9/10
Standout moment: "My word is my mother fucking bond!"
Based on a true story (see Wikipedia) this film is remarkable. One of the best films of 2009. Its funny, heart warming, absorbing, fascinating and true! Jim Carrey delivers a masterful performance helped by great on screen chemistry with Ewan McGregor. Watching this movie I found myself saying things like 'Oh my god!' and 'No way!' a lot, as some of the cons Steven Russell pulls off are unbelievable. The ending is outstanding. Watch this movie please!
DICKS: 8.9/10
Standout moment: "My word is my mother fucking bond!"
Centurion
A band of Roman soldiers are hunted by the savage Picts.
British film alert! This always make me cringe a little, when us Brits attempt to make a sweeping epic but director Neil Marshall (Dog soldiers, Decent) does a good job. The cast are likeable enough, definatly helped by Michael Fassbender and the action it savage and bloody. The story looses steam toward the end but if you like the genre then its a bit of fun.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Woodland ambush
British film alert! This always make me cringe a little, when us Brits attempt to make a sweeping epic but director Neil Marshall (Dog soldiers, Decent) does a good job. The cast are likeable enough, definatly helped by Michael Fassbender and the action it savage and bloody. The story looses steam toward the end but if you like the genre then its a bit of fun.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Woodland ambush
Antichrist
A couple loose their son and retreat to a cabin in the woods to talk about it.
Warning this film will mess you up! Director Lars von Trier made this film after dealing with depression all his life. Its beautifully shot, the only two actors in the film are incredible and the story is very dark and disturbing.
Being a fan of the more extreme cinema, I loved this film. Its story is engrossing and feels like a dream through out. It does have two particularly distressing scenes and I warn you again that this film is not for the faint hearted. This is a piece of ART.
DICKS: 7.9/10
Standout moment: Taking fox.
Warning this film will mess you up! Director Lars von Trier made this film after dealing with depression all his life. Its beautifully shot, the only two actors in the film are incredible and the story is very dark and disturbing.
Being a fan of the more extreme cinema, I loved this film. Its story is engrossing and feels like a dream through out. It does have two particularly distressing scenes and I warn you again that this film is not for the faint hearted. This is a piece of ART.
DICKS: 7.9/10
Standout moment: Taking fox.
Killshot
Hit man has his rules and hunts down a couple who can identify him.
I really wanted the bad guys to win in this movie. The 'Victims' characters are rubbish and I just wanted them to take a shot gun to the face, but no such luck. The film started off promisingly, and I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in most things but this film soon looses its way. The Killers reasons for hunting the couple seem to blasé but you don't really care about any one in the film so its irrelevant. The ending could have been so much better. Did I mention I hated the 'Victims'?
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: (Tumbleweed)
I really wanted the bad guys to win in this movie. The 'Victims' characters are rubbish and I just wanted them to take a shot gun to the face, but no such luck. The film started off promisingly, and I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in most things but this film soon looses its way. The Killers reasons for hunting the couple seem to blasé but you don't really care about any one in the film so its irrelevant. The ending could have been so much better. Did I mention I hated the 'Victims'?
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: (Tumbleweed)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Science mad kid invents a machine that can make food out of water.
I never thought to watch this movie until I saw the cast, its superb! Great animation and voice acting though out. I really laughed out loud and the story is awesome. I would recommend this movie to anyone and everyone
DICKS: 8.4/10
Standout moment: "He's in a food coma..I need a celery stick, stat!"
I never thought to watch this movie until I saw the cast, its superb! Great animation and voice acting though out. I really laughed out loud and the story is awesome. I would recommend this movie to anyone and everyone
DICKS: 8.4/10
Standout moment: "He's in a food coma..I need a celery stick, stat!"
The Hills Run Red
Young horror enthusiast, attempts to make a documentary about a lost slasher movie.
Not really a gorefest or that scary. I liked the idea, a group trying to find what happened to a fabled horror movie, but it never builds any tension and ends up being not much of anything. If your after a film like this watch Wolf Creek. On the plus side, Sophie Monk gets naked a lot, bonus.
DICKS: 5.9/10
Standout moment: Girl getting ripped in half.
Not really a gorefest or that scary. I liked the idea, a group trying to find what happened to a fabled horror movie, but it never builds any tension and ends up being not much of anything. If your after a film like this watch Wolf Creek. On the plus side, Sophie Monk gets naked a lot, bonus.
DICKS: 5.9/10
Standout moment: Girl getting ripped in half.
Leaves of Grass
Philosophy professor returns home to help out his pot growing, twin brother.
Edward Norton plays the two brothers in this movie and I felt he did a good job of giving each one their own character. There are funny moments, some brief, but bloody violence, philosophy and a bit of romance. Nothing stands out in this movie but I really enjoyed it. Great performances and a kooky plot line.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Head shots!
Edward Norton plays the two brothers in this movie and I felt he did a good job of giving each one their own character. There are funny moments, some brief, but bloody violence, philosophy and a bit of romance. Nothing stands out in this movie but I really enjoyed it. Great performances and a kooky plot line.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Head shots!
Case 39
A social worker saves a young girl from her crazy parents, but are they? oooh.....
It got slated in the press but if your in the mood for some demonic possession, then this aint bad at all. The set up is great and the first big scene is really gripping, it does go way over the top at the end and the main character looses it a bit to quickly but it is fiction so what the hell. Entertaining enough.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Can I smell gas?
It got slated in the press but if your in the mood for some demonic possession, then this aint bad at all. The set up is great and the first big scene is really gripping, it does go way over the top at the end and the main character looses it a bit to quickly but it is fiction so what the hell. Entertaining enough.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Can I smell gas?
Undead
Fire comes from the sky and turns people into Zombies.
This is an Australian film and it really shows. If you're into Films like 'Brain Dead' then you might like this. The characters are really annoying, the music is dire and the film is just absurd but it does contain, Zombies, aliens, acid rain, undead fish and buckets of blood and severed limbs. It left me puzzled. Very weird.
DICKS: 4.9/10 (Its rubbish but part of me likes it)
Standout moment: A whole town suspended in the air (its really quite good!)
This is an Australian film and it really shows. If you're into Films like 'Brain Dead' then you might like this. The characters are really annoying, the music is dire and the film is just absurd but it does contain, Zombies, aliens, acid rain, undead fish and buckets of blood and severed limbs. It left me puzzled. Very weird.
DICKS: 4.9/10 (Its rubbish but part of me likes it)
Standout moment: A whole town suspended in the air (its really quite good!)
Eagle vs Shark
Two geeks fall in love.
If you liked films like Napoleon Dynamite, you will like this. Its weird, cute, awkward and funny. Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords) is excellent as the frustrated, love sick, Jarrod and he has some great phone conversations where he acts all tough. A happy go lucky movie, which will make you smile.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: The cripple fight showdown.
If you liked films like Napoleon Dynamite, you will like this. Its weird, cute, awkward and funny. Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords) is excellent as the frustrated, love sick, Jarrod and he has some great phone conversations where he acts all tough. A happy go lucky movie, which will make you smile.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: The cripple fight showdown.
Running Scared
Drug deal goes wrong, cop gets shot, guy goes on the run.
This film does every thing right. The actions is superb, the story speeds along and the cast are brilliant. This film will surprise you, on first glance it looks like a made for TV movie but its better than most block busters. Great fuckin film.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The child snatchers!
This film does every thing right. The actions is superb, the story speeds along and the cast are brilliant. This film will surprise you, on first glance it looks like a made for TV movie but its better than most block busters. Great fuckin film.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The child snatchers!
Eastbound and Down
Washed up pro baseball player returns home to teach at a local high school.
This is a TV series not to be missed. It looks and feels like a movie, just chopped up in to episodes. Its laugh out loud funny, star of the show, Kenny Powers, is the best character ever, a totally selfish, deluded, asshole who pisses off everybody, its superb! Please watch it.
(Contains a lot of swearing, yay!)
(Also Series 2 has started and is brilliant)
DICKS: 8.5/10
Standout moment: I'm Kenny Fuckin Powers!
This is a TV series not to be missed. It looks and feels like a movie, just chopped up in to episodes. Its laugh out loud funny, star of the show, Kenny Powers, is the best character ever, a totally selfish, deluded, asshole who pisses off everybody, its superb! Please watch it.
(Contains a lot of swearing, yay!)
(Also Series 2 has started and is brilliant)
DICKS: 8.5/10
Standout moment: I'm Kenny Fuckin Powers!
Bad Lieutenant: POCNO
Bad cop, does bad things.
The original Bad Lieutenant, with Harvey keitel was classic, dark and gritty, it makes this remake look like a fuckin joke. I imagine if you see this first you might think its ok, slightly risqué. I thought it tried to hard to be dark. The only thing I liked in this movie was Eva Mendez, and its not because of her acting talent.
This film is a bit of a joke.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: Eva
The original Bad Lieutenant, with Harvey keitel was classic, dark and gritty, it makes this remake look like a fuckin joke. I imagine if you see this first you might think its ok, slightly risqué. I thought it tried to hard to be dark. The only thing I liked in this movie was Eva Mendez, and its not because of her acting talent.
This film is a bit of a joke.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: Eva
REC
TV reporter documenting a day with a local fire crew, and they encounter a deadly virus trapped in a tower block.
This film is bloody brilliant! Innovative camera work, simple idea perfectly executed. I watched this, alone in the dark and was jumping around with fright and excitement. A real wake up for other horror film makers, Hollywood hasn't come close to anything like this.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: The fall from the stairs
This film is bloody brilliant! Innovative camera work, simple idea perfectly executed. I watched this, alone in the dark and was jumping around with fright and excitement. A real wake up for other horror film makers, Hollywood hasn't come close to anything like this.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: The fall from the stairs
REC 2
Continues from where REC left off, a swat team is sent in to sort shit out.
I never thought REC could get any better , but it does, REC 2 is awesome! Obviously its not as original, but the action is relentless and the story takes on new twists and turns.
Still as scary as fcuk and loved the new camera shots (swat head cams). To me its the perfect horror film, fun, scary and fresh. The BOMB!
DICKS: 9.1/10
Standout moment: Swat team member trapped alone, with the hordes at the door!
I never thought REC could get any better , but it does, REC 2 is awesome! Obviously its not as original, but the action is relentless and the story takes on new twists and turns.
Still as scary as fcuk and loved the new camera shots (swat head cams). To me its the perfect horror film, fun, scary and fresh. The BOMB!
DICKS: 9.1/10
Standout moment: Swat team member trapped alone, with the hordes at the door!
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Scott must battle his new girlfriends Ex's.
At first it was a bit too weird, but I soon got into it. Some great quotes ("He punched a hole in the moon for me") extravagant special effects, loads of funny moments, it feels a bit like a music video, the fights are great and the scenes with superman made me laugh out loud. I liked the music too! Fun.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The De veganize ray!
At first it was a bit too weird, but I soon got into it. Some great quotes ("He punched a hole in the moon for me") extravagant special effects, loads of funny moments, it feels a bit like a music video, the fights are great and the scenes with superman made me laugh out loud. I liked the music too! Fun.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The De veganize ray!
Predators
Killers are dropped on to an alien world and must fight to survive.
This film was meant to be based on the comics books, if they stuck to that premise, it could have been an amazing film, but they didn't. To many 'Cool' characters, which don't get any screen time (Laurence fishburne, best thing in it), starts off well but too rushed, not enough film time to cram it all in. The ending feels like they just said sod it and made one up on the spot. Its flat, boring, crap effects and lame story structure. A faithful adaptation of the comics books as a mini series would have been much better.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: The opening drop in
This film was meant to be based on the comics books, if they stuck to that premise, it could have been an amazing film, but they didn't. To many 'Cool' characters, which don't get any screen time (Laurence fishburne, best thing in it), starts off well but too rushed, not enough film time to cram it all in. The ending feels like they just said sod it and made one up on the spot. Its flat, boring, crap effects and lame story structure. A faithful adaptation of the comics books as a mini series would have been much better.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: The opening drop in
The Social Network
Story of the clever bastard who invented Facebook.
My favourite director, David Fincher (Fight club, Seven) turns out another brilliant movie. Cleverly put together, interesting, funny and enjoyable. Best of all, you still feel the guy who invented Facebook probably still don't have any real friends, and is still a bit of a douch bag, just a billionaire douch bag. Watch it!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The giant twins are funny
My favourite director, David Fincher (Fight club, Seven) turns out another brilliant movie. Cleverly put together, interesting, funny and enjoyable. Best of all, you still feel the guy who invented Facebook probably still don't have any real friends, and is still a bit of a douch bag, just a billionaire douch bag. Watch it!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The giant twins are funny
Flight of the living dead
Zombies on a plane.
You already know this film is cheap, cruddy, dreadful, garbage, substandard and piss poor!
I watch these films so you don't have to.
The zombie action is lame, characters.... well, there aren't any and its predictable and boring. But I didn't expect any thing less. The pits.
DICKS: 3/10
Standout moment: The end
You already know this film is cheap, cruddy, dreadful, garbage, substandard and piss poor!
I watch these films so you don't have to.
The zombie action is lame, characters.... well, there aren't any and its predictable and boring. But I didn't expect any thing less. The pits.
DICKS: 3/10
Standout moment: The end
Shelter
Female psychiatrist investigates a guy with multiple personalities, then people start dying.
Not a bad supernatural thriller, I enjoyed it. The first meeting scene did make me jump. You can tell its from the same writer on the film 'Identity' as the theme is very similar, but that's all good. A great film to watch with the girlfriend.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: "Hello David, can I speak to Adam?"
Not a bad supernatural thriller, I enjoyed it. The first meeting scene did make me jump. You can tell its from the same writer on the film 'Identity' as the theme is very similar, but that's all good. A great film to watch with the girlfriend.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: "Hello David, can I speak to Adam?"
Black Death
A young monk and a band of Christian warriors seek out a village untouched by the plague.
I have been really looking forward to this film and I was not disappointed, its ace! Great cast, good story, a few dismembered limbs and a town under the grasp of a witch. Great fun, nothing new in this film, but it does exactly what you want it to.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: She's back from the dead!
I have been really looking forward to this film and I was not disappointed, its ace! Great cast, good story, a few dismembered limbs and a town under the grasp of a witch. Great fun, nothing new in this film, but it does exactly what you want it to.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: She's back from the dead!
Wall Street: Money never sleeps
Young go getter in the middle of a wall street crash.
At the beginning the story is quite interesting and has a few good moments.
I get the feeling this is supposed to be a hard hitting film, gritty, but its just not that compelling. No stand out performances from the cast.
DICKS: 6/10
Standout moment: Never trust a Wall Street man
At the beginning the story is quite interesting and has a few good moments.
I get the feeling this is supposed to be a hard hitting film, gritty, but its just not that compelling. No stand out performances from the cast.
DICKS: 6/10
Standout moment: Never trust a Wall Street man
RED
Bruce comes out of retirement to put his team back together to kick some butt.
Hollywood get a big cast together, make the trailer look good and its job done. Its annoying, the film is boring and very try-hard, it really wants to be cool but its not, in any way. At a few points you may chuckle, but over all its a waste of time.
DICKS: 4/10
Standout moment: Hit squad attack
Hollywood get a big cast together, make the trailer look good and its job done. Its annoying, the film is boring and very try-hard, it really wants to be cool but its not, in any way. At a few points you may chuckle, but over all its a waste of time.
DICKS: 4/10
Standout moment: Hit squad attack
The Joneses
Handsome family move in to neighbourhood and show off their toys.
They are the perfect family and have everything, they soon become the envy of all.
The is a surprising movie. The story is very original and the cast are great in this comedy drama. Its also really funny!
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: "Did his daughter just get in to bed with him?"
They are the perfect family and have everything, they soon become the envy of all.
The is a surprising movie. The story is very original and the cast are great in this comedy drama. Its also really funny!
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: "Did his daughter just get in to bed with him?"
Jonah hex
Comic book cowboy seeks revenge.
Hex goes after the man who killed his family.
This is a dog turd of a film. A wast of time and money. The cast, sets, make up, the costume are all good, but nothing was put to good use. The action is boring and dialogue dull. Feels like they tried to make a gritty Wild Wild West. Lame
DICK: 3.5/10
Standout moment: Megan Fox looks good
Hex goes after the man who killed his family.
This is a dog turd of a film. A wast of time and money. The cast, sets, make up, the costume are all good, but nothing was put to good use. The action is boring and dialogue dull. Feels like they tried to make a gritty Wild Wild West. Lame
DICK: 3.5/10
Standout moment: Megan Fox looks good
Exit through the gift shop
Street art documentary.
This was originally going to be a documentary about Banksy, but they soon realised the guy making the film was more interesting. And he is! I really like the fact that Banksy has to admit that Art is really all a load of bollocks. Very entertaining.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Banksy's, one million in cash, in boxes, on a shelf, in his workshop!
This was originally going to be a documentary about Banksy, but they soon realised the guy making the film was more interesting. And he is! I really like the fact that Banksy has to admit that Art is really all a load of bollocks. Very entertaining.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Banksy's, one million in cash, in boxes, on a shelf, in his workshop!
Cashback
Ben splits with his girlfriend, gets insomnia, then gets a job in a supermarket.
Yer, it sounds kinda strange and it is. The effects are excellent throughout this film, the story is cute enough and so are the naked girls, of which there are quite a lot. It has a dream like feel and the time stop scenes are great.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: He is not alone in his frozen world.
Yer, it sounds kinda strange and it is. The effects are excellent throughout this film, the story is cute enough and so are the naked girls, of which there are quite a lot. It has a dream like feel and the time stop scenes are great.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: He is not alone in his frozen world.