Reviews
Reviews are in no particular order.
DICKS score out of ten:
1/10 - Why God, why?
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
6/10 - It was alright
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
Black Swan
Ballet dancer deals with being the lead in Swan Lake.
Wow, I was not expecting that. Ill admit, I wasn't thrilled about watching this film but the reviews were great so I gave it a look, and oh boy am I glad I did. Its a horror film! Its beautiful, scary, disturbing and it has stunningly hot lesbians in it, amazing!
Jokes aside, this is one of the best films I have seen in a long time.
Well done Natalie Portman.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: I never knew nail files were so dangerous.
Wow, I was not expecting that. Ill admit, I wasn't thrilled about watching this film but the reviews were great so I gave it a look, and oh boy am I glad I did. Its a horror film! Its beautiful, scary, disturbing and it has stunningly hot lesbians in it, amazing!
Jokes aside, this is one of the best films I have seen in a long time.
Well done Natalie Portman.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: I never knew nail files were so dangerous.
The Fighter
Boxing brothers.
Based on a true story, this is a film about one brothers struggle to let go of the past and one brother who need to concentrate on his future. Nothing jumped out in this film for me to give it any real praise, its well made and the actors do an ok job, but I found it lacked and real heart. Its a rocky story but the boxing action lacks any real excitement. Saying that, Bale is quite funny as the drug taking brother.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Jumping out of the window.
Based on a true story, this is a film about one brothers struggle to let go of the past and one brother who need to concentrate on his future. Nothing jumped out in this film for me to give it any real praise, its well made and the actors do an ok job, but I found it lacked and real heart. Its a rocky story but the boxing action lacks any real excitement. Saying that, Bale is quite funny as the drug taking brother.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Jumping out of the window.
Catfish
Man finds true love on the internet.
I don't want to say too much about this film as not to give anything away, but it is a roller coaster ride of a film. Having watched it knowing nothing about it, I was smiling away and enjoying myself but by the end I was screaming 'OH MY GOD!' at the screen. I loved this movie, you will be talking about it long after its finished. Please don't spoil it for your self by reading about it on the internet.
DICKS: 8.9/10
Standout moment: Did she pick up the mail?
I don't want to say too much about this film as not to give anything away, but it is a roller coaster ride of a film. Having watched it knowing nothing about it, I was smiling away and enjoying myself but by the end I was screaming 'OH MY GOD!' at the screen. I loved this movie, you will be talking about it long after its finished. Please don't spoil it for your self by reading about it on the internet.
DICKS: 8.9/10
Standout moment: Did she pick up the mail?
127 Hours
Guy trapped under a rock.
From the director of 'Slumdog millionaire' I was expecting a lot and at first I was a little unsure. Some of his direction looked a little amateurish. The start looks like a bad extreme sports advert but once the story takes hold, its great. Its heart warming and some parts will make you cringe. If you like this kind of film, check out 'Touching the Void' (which in my opinion is a better true story)
DICKS: 7.8/10
Standout moment: Snap!
From the director of 'Slumdog millionaire' I was expecting a lot and at first I was a little unsure. Some of his direction looked a little amateurish. The start looks like a bad extreme sports advert but once the story takes hold, its great. Its heart warming and some parts will make you cringe. If you like this kind of film, check out 'Touching the Void' (which in my opinion is a better true story)
DICKS: 7.8/10
Standout moment: Snap!
The Baader Meinhof Complex
German terrorists blowing things up and looking cool.
A story based on the actions of the Red Army Faction, this is a superb film. The action is tense, great performances and the film has a 'Spielberg' feel and look to it, in a very good way. That said, the start is much better than the end, but is defiantly worth a watch.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Boom!
A story based on the actions of the Red Army Faction, this is a superb film. The action is tense, great performances and the film has a 'Spielberg' feel and look to it, in a very good way. That said, the start is much better than the end, but is defiantly worth a watch.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Boom!
True Grit
Cool looking cowboy helps young girl get some justice.
I was really looking forward to this movie, and I did like the film, but was very disappointed. As always the Coen brothers make a beautiful looking film but I feel the story is lacking any True grit (aha ha) For me Matt Damon is the best thing in the film as the devoted Marshall.
The film is good but any Eastwood film beats this.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Cabin interrogation
I was really looking forward to this movie, and I did like the film, but was very disappointed. As always the Coen brothers make a beautiful looking film but I feel the story is lacking any True grit (aha ha) For me Matt Damon is the best thing in the film as the devoted Marshall.
The film is good but any Eastwood film beats this.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Cabin interrogation
Buried
Some dude wakes in a coffin, in the dessert.
One guy in a coffin the whole film, that's it, that's all you see for one and a half hours! Its Bloody brilliant!! They said it could never be done, it wouldn't work, but this film shows you what can be achieved with a great script. Ryan Reynolds is excellent and the action will keep you guessing all the way through, check this film out now!!
DICKS: 8.5/10
Standout moment: all of it!
One guy in a coffin the whole film, that's it, that's all you see for one and a half hours! Its Bloody brilliant!! They said it could never be done, it wouldn't work, but this film shows you what can be achieved with a great script. Ryan Reynolds is excellent and the action will keep you guessing all the way through, check this film out now!!
DICKS: 8.5/10
Standout moment: all of it!
Jacobs Ladder
Vietnam veterans world gets weird.
This is an old one from 1990. It should be watched if you like a good mind shake up!
It is very disturbing, psychological and beautiful. A film that stands alone, I have never seen a film like it since, it will get in to your mind and... I cant explain it, very David Lynch. Watch if your a fan of intense cinema, don't watch it if your favourite film is Happy Gilmore.
DICKS: 8.5/10
Standout moment: Subway Creature
This is an old one from 1990. It should be watched if you like a good mind shake up!
It is very disturbing, psychological and beautiful. A film that stands alone, I have never seen a film like it since, it will get in to your mind and... I cant explain it, very David Lynch. Watch if your a fan of intense cinema, don't watch it if your favourite film is Happy Gilmore.
DICKS: 8.5/10
Standout moment: Subway Creature
Four rooms
Four story's connected by the poor bell boy.
An all star cast in this odd film, funny in places, weird performances and some memorable scenes. The first half is a little slow but the second half is very rewarding. If your a fan of Tarantino I would recommend you check this out. Tim Roth is also great as the manic bell boy.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Look after my children!
An all star cast in this odd film, funny in places, weird performances and some memorable scenes. The first half is a little slow but the second half is very rewarding. If your a fan of Tarantino I would recommend you check this out. Tim Roth is also great as the manic bell boy.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Look after my children!
Death Race 2
Race or die, again.
I was actually happy to see Death Race 2, I enjoyed the first one very much. The sets were exactly the same, the cars the same and even some of the cast were the same but it was well boring. I even like the lead, Luke Goss, the man from Bross! but the script and director mess it all up. It was almost exactly the same film, just rubbish, ha. Oh, and a note to the director, you can't just put Danny Trejo in a film to make it cool.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: Bus fighting
I was actually happy to see Death Race 2, I enjoyed the first one very much. The sets were exactly the same, the cars the same and even some of the cast were the same but it was well boring. I even like the lead, Luke Goss, the man from Bross! but the script and director mess it all up. It was almost exactly the same film, just rubbish, ha. Oh, and a note to the director, you can't just put Danny Trejo in a film to make it cool.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: Bus fighting
Cyrus
Guys meets the perfect girl and then he meets her son.
A strange film, it was good, had a few funny moments which lifted it in parts, but it made me feel uncomfortable throughout. Good performances from all, but I'm not sure what kind of film it was, it felt like a serious drama but suggested it was a comedy, I'm a bit confused.
DICKS: 7?/10
Standout moment: Where are my shoes?
A strange film, it was good, had a few funny moments which lifted it in parts, but it made me feel uncomfortable throughout. Good performances from all, but I'm not sure what kind of film it was, it felt like a serious drama but suggested it was a comedy, I'm a bit confused.
DICKS: 7?/10
Standout moment: Where are my shoes?
Fanboys
Star Wars fans break in to the skywalker ranch.
If your a fan of geeks, or you are a geek like me, you'll probably like this film. Its predictable and stupid, Star Wars nerds being nerds and I thought it was really funny. I did laugh out loud which is rare, so switch off your brain and have a giggle.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment:Trash Compactor
If your a fan of geeks, or you are a geek like me, you'll probably like this film. Its predictable and stupid, Star Wars nerds being nerds and I thought it was really funny. I did laugh out loud which is rare, so switch off your brain and have a giggle.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment:Trash Compactor
The American
American assassin hiding in Italy.
A slow thoughtful film, lots of Clooney looking moodily into the distance and beautiful soundings (Including the girls). Really liked the opening credits, some great visual style and the first scene is really superb. The film does slow down a little but is very well produced and overall I enjoyed it.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The car and scooter chase is very cool.
A slow thoughtful film, lots of Clooney looking moodily into the distance and beautiful soundings (Including the girls). Really liked the opening credits, some great visual style and the first scene is really superb. The film does slow down a little but is very well produced and overall I enjoyed it.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The car and scooter chase is very cool.
Barry Munday
Barry looses his nuts and then finds out he is a farther.
A poor man's 'Knocked up'. It started off ok, some chauvinistic guy tries it on with every girl he meets, but many of the films parts don't seem to gel at all. The fact that he has no nuts, a douche bag for a best friend and he starts off a real looser, don't seem to have any impact on the film. In the end, a pointless watch.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: Oh it's got the guys from 'Watchman' in it!
A poor man's 'Knocked up'. It started off ok, some chauvinistic guy tries it on with every girl he meets, but many of the films parts don't seem to gel at all. The fact that he has no nuts, a douche bag for a best friend and he starts off a real looser, don't seem to have any impact on the film. In the end, a pointless watch.
DICKS: 5/10
Standout moment: Oh it's got the guys from 'Watchman' in it!
Devil
5 people stuck in a lift.
Written by M. Night Shyamalan, but dont worry, its only written by him, not directed. I Really liked this film, it had a Hitchcock feel to it, with the confined filming, hight angled shots and 'Whos the bad guy?' theme. It will keep you on your toes, a good supernatural thriller.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: loosing power!
Written by M. Night Shyamalan, but dont worry, its only written by him, not directed. I Really liked this film, it had a Hitchcock feel to it, with the confined filming, hight angled shots and 'Whos the bad guy?' theme. It will keep you on your toes, a good supernatural thriller.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: loosing power!
The Experiment
A group of men participate in a prison experiment.
This film aint bad, if you are interested in seeing this kind of film, I would recommend you watch the original German version 'Das Experiment' which is much better and gritty. But this film is quite entertaining and I like the concept even though its not original.
DICKS: 6.2/10
Standout moment: Golden shower anyone?
This film aint bad, if you are interested in seeing this kind of film, I would recommend you watch the original German version 'Das Experiment' which is much better and gritty. But this film is quite entertaining and I like the concept even though its not original.
DICKS: 6.2/10
Standout moment: Golden shower anyone?
The Town
A Town which breeds bank robbers.
Directed by Ben Affleck, this is a great heist movie, with a classic feel. Nothing new in the story, but its all good. Feels a bit like 'Heat'. My only gripe is, how come their is always one psychotic friend in every group, you know that one guy you think 'No one ever acts like that!' but that aside, top film.
DICKS:7.5/10
Standout moment: Heist costumes
Directed by Ben Affleck, this is a great heist movie, with a classic feel. Nothing new in the story, but its all good. Feels a bit like 'Heat'. My only gripe is, how come their is always one psychotic friend in every group, you know that one guy you think 'No one ever acts like that!' but that aside, top film.
DICKS:7.5/10
Standout moment: Heist costumes
La Haine
They loose a friend and seek revenge.
This is a brilliant French film from the 90's. Its the life of 3 'ghetto' boys set over many years. This aint no flashy Hollywood movie, its the best acting, camera work (Look for the amazing, tower blocks shot) and storytelling.
You get a great sense of who the characters are and what their lives are like. Vincent Cassel is, hands down, my favourite French actor.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Police foot chase
This is a brilliant French film from the 90's. Its the life of 3 'ghetto' boys set over many years. This aint no flashy Hollywood movie, its the best acting, camera work (Look for the amazing, tower blocks shot) and storytelling.
You get a great sense of who the characters are and what their lives are like. Vincent Cassel is, hands down, my favourite French actor.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Police foot chase
Bringing Out the Dead
Paramedic going crazy.
What a superb film. Refreshingly different, funny, an awesome cast and brilliantly directed. The film portrays Franks madness so well, getting slowly crazier as the film speeds along. Ving Rhame's resurrection speech is also priceless. An old classic, check it!
DICKS: 8.4/10
Standout moment: Ambulance crash
What a superb film. Refreshingly different, funny, an awesome cast and brilliantly directed. The film portrays Franks madness so well, getting slowly crazier as the film speeds along. Ving Rhame's resurrection speech is also priceless. An old classic, check it!
DICKS: 8.4/10
Standout moment: Ambulance crash
Skyline
People in a tower block and aliens attack.
ARRRRRRRRRRRR, rage building, rAgE BuIldInG!!
Calm, its finished. This film is FUCKING SHIT. When hollywood put in a well known TV star, in this case, Donald Faison from Scrubs, it means the film is going to be rubbish. This film is very clever at appearing to be high budget, when in fact, most of the film is set in one room with crap actors and a bit of CGI tacked on. Boring boring boring boring ARRRRRR...im off again. If you watch this I will punch you and you will thank me.
DICKS: 1/10
Standout moment: This review
ARRRRRRRRRRRR, rage building, rAgE BuIldInG!!
Calm, its finished. This film is FUCKING SHIT. When hollywood put in a well known TV star, in this case, Donald Faison from Scrubs, it means the film is going to be rubbish. This film is very clever at appearing to be high budget, when in fact, most of the film is set in one room with crap actors and a bit of CGI tacked on. Boring boring boring boring ARRRRRR...im off again. If you watch this I will punch you and you will thank me.
DICKS: 1/10
Standout moment: This review
Despicable Me
An evil genius wants to steal the moon.
At first I thought the animation was very basic, but it appeared to improve as the film went on. It was a nice film, not really that funny, more heart warming, but it had a few sweet spots. Everybody will like the little yellow henchmen.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The scooter get away
At first I thought the animation was very basic, but it appeared to improve as the film went on. It was a nice film, not really that funny, more heart warming, but it had a few sweet spots. Everybody will like the little yellow henchmen.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: The scooter get away
Malice in Wonderland
Alice in wonderland, with cockneys.
This maybe the only film Danny Dyers done, that I like. I don't think it would be everyone's cupa tea but I thought It looked great, all the performances (even Danny's) are excellent and its original (in its own way). I quite enjoyed it, oh and its a British movie, yay!
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Dennis Pennis
This maybe the only film Danny Dyers done, that I like. I don't think it would be everyone's cupa tea but I thought It looked great, all the performances (even Danny's) are excellent and its original (in its own way). I quite enjoyed it, oh and its a British movie, yay!
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Dennis Pennis
Death Race
Prisoners compete in death race for their freedom.
I'm not a fan of Jason Statham but I could cope with him in this film. I liked the back story, yes it's absurd, but it's that kind of film. The story parts are ok but the races are crazy good! The effects are top and I was laughing with joy throughout most of the races as they really look that good. Its a lot of fun!
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: Death of the Dreadnought
I'm not a fan of Jason Statham but I could cope with him in this film. I liked the back story, yes it's absurd, but it's that kind of film. The story parts are ok but the races are crazy good! The effects are top and I was laughing with joy throughout most of the races as they really look that good. Its a lot of fun!
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: Death of the Dreadnought
Be Kind Rewind
Jack becomes magnetized and erases all the tapes in his friends video store, so they have to re-shoot them all.
A really charming, feel good movie. The film remakes they produce are hysterical and its worth watching just for them alone. Great performance's from the very likeable cast, highly recommended.
DICKS: 7.9/10
Standout moment: Ghostbusters
A really charming, feel good movie. The film remakes they produce are hysterical and its worth watching just for them alone. Great performance's from the very likeable cast, highly recommended.
DICKS: 7.9/10
Standout moment: Ghostbusters
Trick 'r Treat
Four Halloween stories.
I believe this was adapted from a comic book. The retro stories have a classic feel, It's a bit like an episode of Tales from the Crypt, just a modern update. Good atmosphere throughout, the Pumpkin head kid is especially creepy. A good holiday movie.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Halloween Bus
I believe this was adapted from a comic book. The retro stories have a classic feel, It's a bit like an episode of Tales from the Crypt, just a modern update. Good atmosphere throughout, the Pumpkin head kid is especially creepy. A good holiday movie.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Halloween Bus
Youth in Revolt
Nick has to let his evil alter ego take over, to win back his girl.
The always likeable Michael Cera is great as the evil 'Francois Dillinger', his scenes are priceless. The movie is charming, well written and most importantly very funny. Its full of great quotes too "I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and where you like the crown that you are"
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Car over the cliff
The always likeable Michael Cera is great as the evil 'Francois Dillinger', his scenes are priceless. The movie is charming, well written and most importantly very funny. Its full of great quotes too "I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and where you like the crown that you are"
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: Car over the cliff
The Ghost Writer
Ghostwriter is hired to work on prime ministers memoirs.
Yer I know it sounds really, really boring but, its really a very interesting mystery. Straight off the film is very intriguing, the locations are exceptional and you can tell the director had put a lot of thought into each shot. A great movie, a little slow, but well worth it.
DICKS: 7.9/10
Standout moment: Body on the Beach
Yer I know it sounds really, really boring but, its really a very interesting mystery. Straight off the film is very intriguing, the locations are exceptional and you can tell the director had put a lot of thought into each shot. A great movie, a little slow, but well worth it.
DICKS: 7.9/10
Standout moment: Body on the Beach
The Life Aquatic
Tiger Shark kills best friend, best friend decided to hunt down and kill Tiger Shark.
This film is amazing. The best cast, best script and a brilliant director. It's funny, quirky and lovably, I wanna hug this film. The role of Steve Zissou was made for Bill Murrays and for me its his best movie. The set in this film is so good, you have to see it. I like everything about Life Aquatic, please watch.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: When Steve (Bill) takes on the pirates single handed. Classic.
This film is amazing. The best cast, best script and a brilliant director. It's funny, quirky and lovably, I wanna hug this film. The role of Steve Zissou was made for Bill Murrays and for me its his best movie. The set in this film is so good, you have to see it. I like everything about Life Aquatic, please watch.
DICKS: 9/10
Standout moment: When Steve (Bill) takes on the pirates single handed. Classic.
Easy A
Girl pretends to sleep with the schools loser's for vouchers.
A very typical American school comedy. It was very watchable but I never really found it that funny and the girls parents seemed a bit too cool and unrealistically hip. Its entertaining enough at the time, but very forgettable.
DICKS:6.5/10
Standout moment: ......
A very typical American school comedy. It was very watchable but I never really found it that funny and the girls parents seemed a bit too cool and unrealistically hip. Its entertaining enough at the time, but very forgettable.
DICKS:6.5/10
Standout moment: ......
Lake Placid 3
Croc's kill morons.
If you know a lake was once filled with a massive deadly killing machine, you don't decide to hang out there, do you?
Well these plebs do.
This film is pointless, and they keep putting 'Unrated' on the box like its a badge of honour, if the scenes where not in the original, it must mean they were lame anyway! I hate this film.
DICKS: 3/10
Standout moment: Laughing at the pathetic special effects
If you know a lake was once filled with a massive deadly killing machine, you don't decide to hang out there, do you?
Well these plebs do.
This film is pointless, and they keep putting 'Unrated' on the box like its a badge of honour, if the scenes where not in the original, it must mean they were lame anyway! I hate this film.
DICKS: 3/10
Standout moment: Laughing at the pathetic special effects