Reviews
Reviews are in no particular order.
DICKS score out of ten:
1/10 - Why God, why?
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
2/10 - Fuckin shit
3/10 - Shit 4/10 - Rubbish
5/10 - Its a film, I watched it.
6/10 - It was alright
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
7/10 - Good film
8/10 - Excellent film
9/10 - Fuckin amazing
10/10 - Primo!
London Boulevard
Just Released from prison, a man tries to avoid a criminal life.
Bizarre, pointless story. Some mildly amusing moments. Weird choice of music that made no sense to the film and became annoying. Tried very hard to be 'Cool' lots of big name actors and lots of swearing. Basically it wanted to be a Guy Richie movie.
DICKS: 6.5/10
Standout moment: Count how many times they say 'Cu*t'
Bizarre, pointless story. Some mildly amusing moments. Weird choice of music that made no sense to the film and became annoying. Tried very hard to be 'Cool' lots of big name actors and lots of swearing. Basically it wanted to be a Guy Richie movie.
DICKS: 6.5/10
Standout moment: Count how many times they say 'Cu*t'
Rango
A Chameleon ends up in the old west and must save the day.
This film is weird, but brilliant. Jonny's voice acting reminded me of 'Fear and Loathing' and their is even a nod to it in the film. The characters are all excellent and very likeable. The animation is some of the best I have seen, when he first enters the bar in 'Dirt' you will know what I mean, its first class! Some of the scenes are almost breath taking.
DICKS: 8.9/10
Standout moment: The planes attack!
This film is weird, but brilliant. Jonny's voice acting reminded me of 'Fear and Loathing' and their is even a nod to it in the film. The characters are all excellent and very likeable. The animation is some of the best I have seen, when he first enters the bar in 'Dirt' you will know what I mean, its first class! Some of the scenes are almost breath taking.
DICKS: 8.9/10
Standout moment: The planes attack!
The Adjustment Bureau
Do shadowy figures control our fate.
A slow start. The explanation for the 'Adjustments' is quite cute. The plot is a very fishy. Its boils down to a love story and asks the question 'is man in control of his own destiny?'. It was great to see Terence Stamp as one of the agents. It had a few nice moments but overall I found the story too weak.
DICKS: 6.8/10
Standout moment: Send in 'the Hammer'.
A slow start. The explanation for the 'Adjustments' is quite cute. The plot is a very fishy. Its boils down to a love story and asks the question 'is man in control of his own destiny?'. It was great to see Terence Stamp as one of the agents. It had a few nice moments but overall I found the story too weak.
DICKS: 6.8/10
Standout moment: Send in 'the Hammer'.
The Way Back
A story of the 4000 mile journey through hell.
This film was great! Director Peter weirs many great films include 'fearless'(8/10) and 'dead poets society'(8/10). Its a surprising epic film. English lead was novel as he was playing a polish man. Just when I thought it was over it was only half way through. The end is kind of rushed but its a long film anyhow. I really liked the story and characters.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The story itself.
This film was great! Director Peter weirs many great films include 'fearless'(8/10) and 'dead poets society'(8/10). Its a surprising epic film. English lead was novel as he was playing a polish man. Just when I thought it was over it was only half way through. The end is kind of rushed but its a long film anyhow. I really liked the story and characters.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The story itself.
Unknown
Man must claim his life back after loosing him memory.
Good old Liam Neeson at his best, in a classic revenge/mystery/ thriller. The story gets more and more intriguing as the movie steams along. This tale has been told before ( I wont mention it as it'll spoil the plot) but that takes nothing away from this tense fast paced film. Really enjoyed it!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: 'Its me, I'm your husband'...
' I have never seen this man before'
Good old Liam Neeson at his best, in a classic revenge/mystery/ thriller. The story gets more and more intriguing as the movie steams along. This tale has been told before ( I wont mention it as it'll spoil the plot) but that takes nothing away from this tense fast paced film. Really enjoyed it!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: 'Its me, I'm your husband'...
' I have never seen this man before'
The Next Three Days
Wife is accused of murder, husband attempts to free her.
Dark from the start. Its about the lengths a man will go to for love. Some of it was quite upsetting. I felt like Mel Gibson should have played the part Russell did, its just his kind of film. It has a nice little twist and turn and get quite interesting towards the end.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: He's a good shot for a teacher!
Dark from the start. Its about the lengths a man will go to for love. Some of it was quite upsetting. I felt like Mel Gibson should have played the part Russell did, its just his kind of film. It has a nice little twist and turn and get quite interesting towards the end.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: He's a good shot for a teacher!
The Lost Future
A Tribe must find a cure for a deadly disease.
This is a made for TV movie and you can really tell, even looking at the cover you know its going to be rubbish. Sean Beans stars in this naff story where a bunch of cave men have to get this cure which they refer to as the 'Yellow power' ohhhh...what a load of bollocks.
DICKS: 3/10
Standout moment: I'm totally blank
This is a made for TV movie and you can really tell, even looking at the cover you know its going to be rubbish. Sean Beans stars in this naff story where a bunch of cave men have to get this cure which they refer to as the 'Yellow power' ohhhh...what a load of bollocks.
DICKS: 3/10
Standout moment: I'm totally blank
The Sunset Limited
Two men discuss their different beliefs.
Only two actors and the entire film is set in one room. The script was written by Cormac McCarthy (The Road) and is very well put together. I did get a little board with Sam Jacksons character as he just plays him self but Tommy is excellent. It wont blow you away but it managed to hold my attention for an hour and a half.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Tommy's end speech
Only two actors and the entire film is set in one room. The script was written by Cormac McCarthy (The Road) and is very well put together. I did get a little board with Sam Jacksons character as he just plays him self but Tommy is excellent. It wont blow you away but it managed to hold my attention for an hour and a half.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Tommy's end speech
Season of the Witch
Witches are causing the deadly plague.
Nicolas Cage...hahaha.
Yes Nic is back and on top form as the worst actor ever, to be fair to him he didn't have much to work with as the script is rubbish. Some guys get back from the crusaded and have to take this witch for questioning, she kills some of them and they have a few fights, the end. No point or meaning to this film, which would be ok if the action was fun, but its sadly not.
DICKS: 5.5/10
Standout moment: Witch dunking as the very start.
Nicolas Cage...hahaha.
Yes Nic is back and on top form as the worst actor ever, to be fair to him he didn't have much to work with as the script is rubbish. Some guys get back from the crusaded and have to take this witch for questioning, she kills some of them and they have a few fights, the end. No point or meaning to this film, which would be ok if the action was fun, but its sadly not.
DICKS: 5.5/10
Standout moment: Witch dunking as the very start.
Sanctum
Scuba divers in a massive cave.
Now looking the trailer the film appeared to be a big budget block buster but after watching it, I think its quite a low budget flick. The story is very simple and looses it towards the end, but never the less, I did quite enjoy it. Not a lot happens, but If you have a fear of small dark spaces underwater, you might get a little freaked out by it, as I did. Some of the underwater cave shots are stunning.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Running out of oxygen!
Now looking the trailer the film appeared to be a big budget block buster but after watching it, I think its quite a low budget flick. The story is very simple and looses it towards the end, but never the less, I did quite enjoy it. Not a lot happens, but If you have a fear of small dark spaces underwater, you might get a little freaked out by it, as I did. Some of the underwater cave shots are stunning.
DICKS: 6.9/10
Standout moment: Running out of oxygen!
The Clinic
Woman wakes to find her baby has been removed!
The fact that this film says 'Inspired by true events' disturbs me greatly. The film has a classic horror film set up and it has good moments. Its a bit like SAW, that bothers me a little because I find my self shouting at the TV as the characters proceed to do the dumbest things possible in their situation. It was a good low budget horror.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Tabrett Bethell does get naked it it, which is stunning...but she is crying in a batch of ice after being cut up, so its a little sick too haha
The fact that this film says 'Inspired by true events' disturbs me greatly. The film has a classic horror film set up and it has good moments. Its a bit like SAW, that bothers me a little because I find my self shouting at the TV as the characters proceed to do the dumbest things possible in their situation. It was a good low budget horror.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Tabrett Bethell does get naked it it, which is stunning...but she is crying in a batch of ice after being cut up, so its a little sick too haha
Kings Speech
The story of a king who had a St..st..stutter.
The cast is amazing in this low budget British film. The story has no action scenes or flash special effects but still manages to keep you hooked throughout. For me Geoffrey Rush made the film. Yes it won all the awards and it was directed by a guy who directed Eastenders!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The speech training.
The cast is amazing in this low budget British film. The story has no action scenes or flash special effects but still manages to keep you hooked throughout. For me Geoffrey Rush made the film. Yes it won all the awards and it was directed by a guy who directed Eastenders!
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The speech training.
Faster
Beef cake seeks revenge for the killing of his brother.
I feel I was tricked into watching this film. For some bizare reason it has a good review on IMDB, I thought it blowed, big time. The Rock struts around doing his mean face and nothing else, the rest of the casts characters are so one dimensional it hurts. The story is lame and the Film title Faster does not really has any relevance, weird!
DICKS: 5/10
Standout Moment: Carla Gugino (I'm always happy to see her)
I feel I was tricked into watching this film. For some bizare reason it has a good review on IMDB, I thought it blowed, big time. The Rock struts around doing his mean face and nothing else, the rest of the casts characters are so one dimensional it hurts. The story is lame and the Film title Faster does not really has any relevance, weird!
DICKS: 5/10
Standout Moment: Carla Gugino (I'm always happy to see her)
Due Date
Two men forced to team up on a journey home.
Basically this film is 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles", no wait, it exactly the fucking same! But saying that 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles' is such a great film its not a big negative. Its fairly funny, a few good laughs, I wasn't keen on Downey but Zach is suitably annoying.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Drinking Dad
Basically this film is 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles", no wait, it exactly the fucking same! But saying that 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles' is such a great film its not a big negative. Its fairly funny, a few good laughs, I wasn't keen on Downey but Zach is suitably annoying.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Drinking Dad
Gulliver's Travels
Jack finds him self trapped on an island of tiny people.
I have no idea why you would ever want to see this film in 3D? why??? NO really why?
Anyhow, its rubbish, another Jack Black sell out film. Most people know the story, it has a few nice modern variances but nothing more.
Dicks: 5/10
Standout moment: The home cinema.
I have no idea why you would ever want to see this film in 3D? why??? NO really why?
Anyhow, its rubbish, another Jack Black sell out film. Most people know the story, it has a few nice modern variances but nothing more.
Dicks: 5/10
Standout moment: The home cinema.
Kontroll
Ticket inspectors in the underground.
Yes this film does not sound very interesting, but trust me it is! A dark, twisted, funny and strange tale of love and mystery. If your looking for something diffident look no further. Ticket inspector Bulcsú and his team are all well cast and very likeable.
DICKS: 7.8/10
Standout moment: Train fight!
Yes this film does not sound very interesting, but trust me it is! A dark, twisted, funny and strange tale of love and mystery. If your looking for something diffident look no further. Ticket inspector Bulcsú and his team are all well cast and very likeable.
DICKS: 7.8/10
Standout moment: Train fight!
Enter The Void
Kid comes back as a ghost to look after his sister.
This film is very very trippy. The main character is a drug dealer and the film is shot in first person, so you get to see what he see's when he's tripping. The visuals are breathtaking, the camera shots and the films use of colour is superb. This film will make you head spin. I loved it all, wow.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: All the colours!
This film is very very trippy. The main character is a drug dealer and the film is shot in first person, so you get to see what he see's when he's tripping. The visuals are breathtaking, the camera shots and the films use of colour is superb. This film will make you head spin. I loved it all, wow.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: All the colours!
Vacancy
Couple stranded at a hotel get terrorised by masked killers.
Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson star in this run of the mill horror/slasher movie but saying that, I kinda liked it. Very reminiscent of the 1970's slasher films. I really liked the TV shots in the bed room, very creepy and realistic and the film had great pace, the only let down was the last 2 mins which was a bit of an anticlimax. Oh, and I love the poster!
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Lets watch a video.
Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson star in this run of the mill horror/slasher movie but saying that, I kinda liked it. Very reminiscent of the 1970's slasher films. I really liked the TV shots in the bed room, very creepy and realistic and the film had great pace, the only let down was the last 2 mins which was a bit of an anticlimax. Oh, and I love the poster!
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Lets watch a video.
The Road
Farther protects his son in a new world.
I'm going to be bias on this one, as this is based on one of my favourite books with the same name. Luckily the film does a good job. The setting is brilliant and you really get a sense of the desperation and futility of their situation. The story is moving and some of the scenes are horrific. I loved this moves but I am partial to a post-apocalyptic tale! Give it a try
DICKS: 8.2/10
Standout moment: The shelter!
I'm going to be bias on this one, as this is based on one of my favourite books with the same name. Luckily the film does a good job. The setting is brilliant and you really get a sense of the desperation and futility of their situation. The story is moving and some of the scenes are horrific. I loved this moves but I am partial to a post-apocalyptic tale! Give it a try
DICKS: 8.2/10
Standout moment: The shelter!
After Life
A girl wakes up dead.
Ooh Liam Neeson, a promising start to this film, I thought, but it never really goes anywhere. The film center around one predicament, is she dead or isn't she? Thats it. I think the director just had a hard on for Christina Ricci because she is naked most of the film, which is bonus.
DICKS: 5.9/10
Standout moment: Guess
Ooh Liam Neeson, a promising start to this film, I thought, but it never really goes anywhere. The film center around one predicament, is she dead or isn't she? Thats it. I think the director just had a hard on for Christina Ricci because she is naked most of the film, which is bonus.
DICKS: 5.9/10
Standout moment: Guess
From Within
A religious town is plagued by suicides.
Another horror film centred around fanatical Christians. It's well shot, the cast of unknowns do a appropriate job of playing there one dimensional characters and some of the deaths are cool, its not bad for a cheap horror flick.
DICKS: 6.8/10
Standout moment: Your not going to like this...Bang.
Another horror film centred around fanatical Christians. It's well shot, the cast of unknowns do a appropriate job of playing there one dimensional characters and some of the deaths are cool, its not bad for a cheap horror flick.
DICKS: 6.8/10
Standout moment: Your not going to like this...Bang.
The Aviator
The story of a man who loved to fly.
This is based on the life of Howard Hughes, a famous director and American aviator. This guy was seriously interesting and as you would expect, Martin Scorsese brings this story to life with brilliance. If you like big blockbuster movies, you don't get much better that this. Looks and feels great.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The XF-11 crash
This is based on the life of Howard Hughes, a famous director and American aviator. This guy was seriously interesting and as you would expect, Martin Scorsese brings this story to life with brilliance. If you like big blockbuster movies, you don't get much better that this. Looks and feels great.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The XF-11 crash
Hell's Angels
Classic WWI action.
I started watching this after watching 'The Aviator' as this is the first film Howard Hughes made and it cost him a hell of a lot of money. The film is epic, the use of colour is excellent, the film contains so many beautiful shots some times you forget your watching a film from the 1930's. The action sequences are phenomenal for its time. Brilliant.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The downing of the blimp.
I started watching this after watching 'The Aviator' as this is the first film Howard Hughes made and it cost him a hell of a lot of money. The film is epic, the use of colour is excellent, the film contains so many beautiful shots some times you forget your watching a film from the 1930's. The action sequences are phenomenal for its time. Brilliant.
DICKS: 8/10
Standout moment: The downing of the blimp.
Rogue
Massive Croc!
Yes this looks like another turkey of a movie, the cover kind of gives it all away. But wait! all is not lost. This is not that bad, no wait, I actually liked it! Wow! Yes we have seen this story hundreds of times before, and this film is no different but its very watch-able. The scenery is beautiful and the setting is perfect. The Croc effects are really good and its an enjoyable monster/jaws movie.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Stay away from the waters edge
Yes this looks like another turkey of a movie, the cover kind of gives it all away. But wait! all is not lost. This is not that bad, no wait, I actually liked it! Wow! Yes we have seen this story hundreds of times before, and this film is no different but its very watch-able. The scenery is beautiful and the setting is perfect. The Croc effects are really good and its an enjoyable monster/jaws movie.
DICKS: 7/10
Standout moment: Stay away from the waters edge
Eden Lake
Couple get attacked by chavs in the woods.
British film and it looks typically British. This could be any number of American horror/thrillers set in the woods, with Chavs as the antagonists instead of hill billies. Its very predictable and I found it a bit annoying. Has a few grizzly parts but I've seen it all before.
DICKS: 5.9/10
Standout moment: Cut him up!
British film and it looks typically British. This could be any number of American horror/thrillers set in the woods, with Chavs as the antagonists instead of hill billies. Its very predictable and I found it a bit annoying. Has a few grizzly parts but I've seen it all before.
DICKS: 5.9/10
Standout moment: Cut him up!
Mary & Max
A lonely young girl, and an over weight old man become pen pals.
Based on a true story. The start of the film is very funny, with very clever observations. The voice acting is excellent and the animation is brilliant. Towards the end, the story is quite sad and a little dark, adding depth to a great film.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: Poo Stain
Based on a true story. The start of the film is very funny, with very clever observations. The voice acting is excellent and the animation is brilliant. Towards the end, the story is quite sad and a little dark, adding depth to a great film.
DICKS: 7.5/10
Standout moment: Poo Stain
The Square
A man's life falls apart after a botched robbery.
Hard to define this movie, its gritty, tense and made me feel uncomfortable as things go from bad to worse for the poor protagonist. This is a solid film, well shot with great acting, it wont blow you away, its just good old fashioned storytelling.
DICKS: 7.2/10
Standout moment: Digger burial
Hard to define this movie, its gritty, tense and made me feel uncomfortable as things go from bad to worse for the poor protagonist. This is a solid film, well shot with great acting, it wont blow you away, its just good old fashioned storytelling.
DICKS: 7.2/10
Standout moment: Digger burial
Salute of The Jugger
Team of 'Juggers' fight to get into the big league.
This is an oldie! One of my favourites from back in the day(1989). Written and Directed by (this will impress you) David Webb Peoples (Blade Runner, Unforgiven, 12 Monkeys). This is a Mad Max style movie, where the 'Juggers' play a violent sport with a dog skull. Its not the best movie but it has a great post apocalyptic feel, which new movies find hard to capture.
DICKS: 7.6/10
Standout moment: That leg looks painful...I'm gonna break it!
This is an oldie! One of my favourites from back in the day(1989). Written and Directed by (this will impress you) David Webb Peoples (Blade Runner, Unforgiven, 12 Monkeys). This is a Mad Max style movie, where the 'Juggers' play a violent sport with a dog skull. Its not the best movie but it has a great post apocalyptic feel, which new movies find hard to capture.
DICKS: 7.6/10
Standout moment: That leg looks painful...I'm gonna break it!
The Green Hornet
Rich kid grows up and decides to fight crime.
Another comic book film, with more emphasis on the comedy element. At first it looked promising, but soon looses any charm. A lot of naff action scenes inserted in to a boring, predictable story. A few funny lines but not enough to keep the film afloat. Poor effort.
DICKS: 6/10
Standout moment: The car looks really cool.
Another comic book film, with more emphasis on the comedy element. At first it looked promising, but soon looses any charm. A lot of naff action scenes inserted in to a boring, predictable story. A few funny lines but not enough to keep the film afloat. Poor effort.
DICKS: 6/10
Standout moment: The car looks really cool.